For my nature adventure assignment, I chose to take a technology break while walking around Mt. Tabor. Since I'm going to use this walk as my action this week, I wanted to reflect on it a bit differently here.
I went on my walk around Tabor during one of the most stressful weeks of this term, with multiple term projects due, graduation approaching, coordinating with family traveling to Portland, and my elderly dog recovering from being attacked the night before. I hoped that walking through Mt. Tabor would help me feel calm or grounded, but in the moment, I mostly felt tense, restless, and distracted. I wanted to interrupt the pattern of rushing, worrying, producing, and managing everything. I wanted a sense of control or peace, but as I walked, it seemed I would inevitably keep circling back out of my environment and into thought.
Finally, I sat. But I was still anxious, still distracted. Waiting for the time and space I've made for my nature adventure assignment to deliver me a feeling of relief. After almost a week, I realize that may have been the point. The walk did not make my problems or my stress disappear. What it did do was show me how much I was carrying. It gave me enough distance from a more familiar space and routine to notice what I was carrying mentally, and that's what made the walk worthwhile in the end. In the moment, it didn't feel peaceful. I didn't feel as present in that environment as I had hoped. I didn't feel less stressed, but it gave me a chance to stop running alongside my stress for a little while.